guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
