We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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