You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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