I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
