Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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