OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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