She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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