I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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