Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize