I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You dont lie about slip and slides
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
