I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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