Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize