Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize