Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
