so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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