You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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