i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
