ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize