i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
