Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Your dad touched me again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
