Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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