She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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