like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This is my gift to your gina
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize