In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
