am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
