But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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