she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
