Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

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  (781): PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/qjlc
  Replies (9) Good night (4130) Bad night (466)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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  (515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8
  Replies (43) Good night (871) Bad night (4664)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  wtf

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?

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  (225): wtf (1-225): I'm guessing you saw the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/q0h6
  Replies (12) Good night (4196) Bad night (1381)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (650) Bad night (4201)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

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  (704): see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it http://tfl.nu/o2df
  Replies (33) Good night (9264) Bad night (1204)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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  (646): Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation. http://tfl.nu/0p0c
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (2910)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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  (402): Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown. http://tfl.nu/l3ul
  Replies (49) Good night (2247) Bad night (5313)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.

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  (+44): I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating. http://tfl.nu/brik
  Replies (8) Good night (1096) Bad night (2528)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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  (970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv
  Replies (13) Good night (2201) Bad night (1201)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.

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  (703): Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick. http://tfl.nu/xrlx
  Replies (25) Good night (2972) Bad night (1031)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.

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  (+44): I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/4in5
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (1339)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.

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  (631): I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis. http://tfl.nu/wmkv
  Replies (5) Good night (1682) Bad night (465)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.

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  (225): I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants. http://tfl.nu/c768
  Replies (0) Good night (1322) Bad night (529)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1315) Bad night (435)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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  (814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (1088)

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