Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude i fell asleep inside of her

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  thats awesome

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  (248): Dude i fell asleep inside of her (1-248): thats awesome http://tfl.nu/98db
  Replies (16) Good night (1800) Bad night (730)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (1920)
• Favorite

  (627): View more from California

  his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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  (627): his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting. http://tfl.nu/tvd6
  Replies (46) Good night (1181) Bad night (4341)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fuck 8am classes

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes

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  (330): Fuck 8am classes (330): Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes http://tfl.nu/x2hf
  Replies (15) Good night (4132) Bad night (1583)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2749) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.

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  (229): No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional. http://tfl.nu/bawb
  Replies (8) Good night (2552) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

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  (605): Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible. http://tfl.nu/ozx2
  Replies (3) Good night (1635) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

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  (973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like http://tfl.nu/re6o
  Replies (3) Good night (4925) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

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  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4559) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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  (303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.

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  (951): I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement. http://tfl.nu/1khp
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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  (313): 420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/907d
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….

  (716): View more from New York

  ...Then...

  (585): View more from New York

  Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one

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  (585): You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then……. (716): ...Then... (585): Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one http://tfl.nu/7kz2
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel

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  (305): He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel http://tfl.nu/vmu7
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us

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  (608): Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us http://tfl.nu/mqe2
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (120)

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