Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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