If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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