Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
