Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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