I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
