i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize