She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
