Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
