I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
