Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
