Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize