Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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