On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
