Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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