He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
