Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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