thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Operation Purity has been aborted
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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