I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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