were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
