when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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