I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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