You made me cry and you don't even care
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And then my night got REAL pukey
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
