My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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