Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
