We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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