Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize