Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

Fav 34 1077 12096
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.

Fav 41 1737 6431
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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

Fav 13 5783 1169
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.

Fav 16 1413 5133
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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

Fav 17 5601 978
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.

Fav 6 2654 1343
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....

Fav 3 279 216
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(720): View more from Colorado

Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.

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