Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
