so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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