I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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