the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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