My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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