They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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