The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
