I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
