So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
