brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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