Kiss
Puke
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize