Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We need to get me chipped asap
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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