Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
