just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Shame - the story of my life.
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